Well loved . . . not spoiled

by | Feb 14, 2019 | Be Kind, Be Responsible | 0 comments

I have been well loved in this life, for most of my life. Many have called me spoiled when it seems that I expect a yes, to my request for the best of what is available. I admit I do expect that my needs will be met and my desires, honored because they always have been. I was a child of well resourced, generous parents. They provided for me, comfortably. And taught me to provide for myself, comfortably. My mother exposed me to many of the finer things in life, through travel and books. She well prepared me to manage an estate, maybe because she saw my appreciation for the accoutrements of the moneyed or wealthy class. I love fountain pens, tailor-made suits, bespoke shirts, and silk ties. In my best life, the majority of my disposable income will go towards creating the Yejide version of the Willie Brown style of dress. I would love to spend an hour, just touching the fabrics in his closet.  (And yes, I know that one of the men in the gallery is NOT the Honorable Willie Brown, but Henry Louis Gates – I love his style too.)

I never dreamed of having anyone provide this way of life for me, I wanted and want to create it for myself. So why am I considered spoiled when I ask for the best available option and expect to receive it? My father told me that the men who called me spoiled where those seeking an excuse to justify not being able to afford my preferences. He said if a man ever told me that my father spoiled me, it was not true. That he could not spoil me, because spoiled, meant no good and that I was good. He said that I was good because I was his and God’s child and that I deserved the best, ALWAYS. My daddy told me that when I was a little girl and he made sure that I felt that way, my entire life. My mother told me that women would call me spoiled out of envy when the charmed aspect of my being showed up. Seemingly magical things have always happened to me, even as a small child. When I have an idea or desire, the right person or opportunity, at the right time appears in the right place to bless me, usually in such a way that requires no energy on my part other than the thought or desire. I now know that it is why she made sure to teach me to keep my heart, pure and mind, positive. She never expected me to be perfect (which was good cuz the pure heart part was difficult for me, still is) but demanded that I be responsible for the things I created in my life and the lives of others. The best way to earn my mother’s disapproval was to not keep my word and to be unkind to ANYONE, for any reason. “You don’t have to be mean, you can just leave them alone!!!” She told me to whom much is given, much is expected, I agree with my mother on that and live by that standard.

From my perspective, since I plan to share my best with those I serve, why not choose from the best options available and offer that? As a Servant-Mother I feel that my daughters should have the best because that is what they are worthy of, and they are not spoiled, they are well loved. I say to the world, treat my seed well, offer them the best or leave them alone.